I promise this isn't a trick question. But is your faith in your faith, or is your faith in God? Not too long ago, I realized my faith was in my faith. To trust God means to truly and fully trust God. I always said that I did because my faith was "at an all-time high." But if I trusted Him, how come my actions said otherwise? The way I handled money, sex, and men revealed that my faith was in my faith, and not in God. And that's not necessarily a good thing. Actually, that's never a good thing.
Even as I look back at how I am and how I've been with men, friends, family, etc, I realize that I'm not a very trusting person. And by that, I mean that I can be trusted, but I don't trust others very well. That's not problematic because our faith should be in Him. But I don't always trust Him the way I should, either. Sometimes things don't go my way. And I know my way is good. I know it can work. I know that if God would and could just get on board with my plan, all will be well. I know that He has the ability, capability, and capacity to support my case, so why doesn't He do that??
Well this argument is one of a person that has faith in their faith, but not in their God. Because to truly know and trust God means knowing His ways are higher, and His thoughts are higher. it means knowing He's sovereign over everything.
Let's look at Numbers 32. From all outward appearances, the tribes of Reuben and Gad followed God’s leadership, and they did quite well for themselves. But as you read there are questions you might ask: Why didn't Reuben and Gad want to go into the Promised Land? They believed God right? Didn't they love them? And yet, even in the wake of all that had happened, in God over and over again showing his covenant blessings to Israel’s people, the request still came, “Do not take us across the Jordan.”
This passage should cause you to wrestle with the difference between real and false belief. Reuben and Gad’s true guts and glory are revealed and challenged for what they really were. God was a means to an end in their minds. He was a boat on which they had sailed to get across the sea into a land of their own individual convenience. Their slave heart and perspective remained, for to them freedom was still defined by getting what one deserves. They were hardwired to protect what they thought was their own entitlement, and they would not release even to the Lord of Hosts. In their eyes and minds, His authority carried the stench of control, and they just couldn't stomach that anymore.
Have you been there before? Be honest. Take a look at this passage from the book of James.
What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder. You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,”and he was called God’s friend. You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone. In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction? As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead. James 2:14-26
So again, I ask do you really trust God? Where is your faith? Trust God with all your might. I promise you won't regret it!