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Single (but not really)


In my case, I'm single x2. But let's look at something hypothetically. Say I enter a relationship tomorrow (ya never know). We're committed to each other. Loyal. Exclusive. Happy. Yet someone asks if I'm single. My response depends on who's asking. Is it the IRS or a legal document? Then yes, I'm single. Legally. But if someone else is asking if I'm single, though I just entered into a relationship, then no, I'm not. I have someone that I'm with and I'm not available to anyone else. Simple as that.



I'm well aware that there's a meme that's been floating around that lists all these things a man and a woman can be doing, but until they're married, she's still single. That is true, to a certain degree. Again, it depends on who's asking. I find this generation to be a bit weird. It's crazy how now there's all this emphasis on marriage. If you're still single, there's a problem. If you're looking for love, there's a problem. If you have a boyfriend, there's a problem. If you have a husband, BINGO! You got it right! Marriage is apparently the final destination. Have we evaluated all the unhappy marriages that exist, or does it not matter because at least they're in a legal union? How did marriage become the final prize instead of happiness? Is it because of "allowed" sex? Because I know of many couples that are unwed and not having sex, very happy and committed. I also know of many marriages where one or both parties are unhappy, there's no respect, possible infidelity, no submission, no leadership, and there's no sex. So is the latter better because at least they're in covenant? Which do you think God truly honors in this case?


It is evident to me why many are single and why others are married and unhappy. We can't seem to get it right. Why are boyfriends frowned upon? Are we taking each other's hands in marriage on sight? Have we gone all the way back to the Bible days? Are we still using the excuse of courting, not dating, to justify our beliefs? (I did a blog on courting vs dating. Check it out here) What are we doing here? Because I'm lost.


So what to do with a boyfriend?


No seriously. Do I have to feed it?

If you have a boyfriend, respect him. You don't have to give husband benefits (click link for video). And I'm not saying go out of your way to cater to a man that is stringing you along and has no intention on making you a wife. Don't go out of your way to prove that your'e awesome and why he should marry you. Don't let him use, abuse, mistreat, and get over on you. But if you have a man that cherishes, loves, and respects you, praise him. No matter what anyone says. If you both are believers and trying to do things the right way, more power to you. Don't let anyone tell you how to treat YOUR guy. Anyone that does is possibly single and lonely, or married and lonely.


Once I enter into a relationship, I'm no longer single. Only by law. I will expect certain things from him as my man/partner/boyfriend/significant other, and he should expect certain things from me. And by "certain things" I mean loyalty, commitment, and honor.


If boyfriends aren't respected, they don't become husbands. Why would a man want to make you a wife if you offer nothing of value to his life now? It's weird that we support people engaging in premarital sex but not 2 in a relationship working towards marriage. Weird. Just weird.