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Sexless in Seattle

Seattle. Spartanburg. Sacramento. South Carolina. South America. Sahara Desert. Wherever you are, are you sexless? If you're in the boat with me and a few of the other butterflies that are a part of this ministry, then you probably are. Being a saved and single women in 2019 can be a bit rough. There's sex everywhere. The TV screen, movies, books, conversations at work, etc. We're in a very sexualized society. There's a handful of us that are either virgins or abstinent, trying to hang in there. It can be a struggle.



Maybe you don't have any urges. Your story might be that you have to deal with being mocked by others when they learn your stance. Or perhaps you're finding that a lack of sex makes dating difficult or nonexistent. Dare I say that you may be someone who is struggling to maintain your position. Either way, there are others that are right there with you. I am one of them. January 1st made it 2 years for me. It was easy at first, but I have those moments where I go back and forth with the ramifications of choosing to risk it all. Satan will have a battlefield with my mind occasionally. "Just one time... He offers grace, right... No one has to know... It's not like you're a virgin..." In those moments, I pray hard. I listen to worship music as I fall asleep. I anoint myself with purification oil from my purity boxes. I remind myself that there's no temptation that I cannot overcome with Christ at the center. It's not shocking that Satan comes back swinging once I made the decision to remove sex. Remember when Jesus defeated Satan in the wilderness? Well Luke 4:13 reads, "When the devil had finished all this tempting, he left him until an opportune time." NIV He'll leave, but he always returns. It's what he does. I recall being under a severe spiritual attack about 7 months ago. The sexual desires came strong. I was thinking things I shouldn't have been thinking. I was finding it hard to remain pure. I contemplated going against what I previously stood for. I was craving sex. I was crying myself to sleep. I was agitated. I had a weakened prayer life. I was becoming rude and nasty. And then I sat and read the book of Luke while with my friend at a car dealership. Luke is always my go-to of the gospels. I started from the beginning. And then I ended up in chapter 11. Dealerships take forever, you know. I came across the passage that made it all make sense. “When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first.” Luke 11:24-26 NIV Satan leaves. But he loves to return. It's why we must put on the full armor to stand against his wiles. We must pray without ceasing. We must be sober and alert.


But how are you? Have you made the decision to give up sex or to hold on to your virginity until you get married? If so, how's that going for you? I want to encourage you to stay strong. Easier said than done, I know. You may have friends that are still engaging in premarital sex. You may find yourself getting ghosted or rejected by men that aren't gifted in that department. You may get mocked and teased because of your decision. Let me encourage you on today. Hang in there! You're not alone. There are others that are walking this road with you. You are NOT crazy. You ARE worth the wait. And there are in fact men that still wait as well. I've come across men that have said they won't wait. I've come across men that said it's impossible for any man to wait. I've come across women that are tired of waiting because they're encountering men that don't and won't wait. Let me tell you that there are men who are waiting!


For those that are deciding to abstain until marriage, we're in a group called the Waiters. And in America, 35% of this group are males. So females are the ones that are more inclined to wait. Fine. But this percentage still goes to show that men are indeed waiting and abstaining. Only you know the reason that you gave up sex or have held onto your V-card all this time. Keep that reason at the forefront. Find others that are also remaining pure. An accountability partner is always a good idea, as well. Who is someone you can go to and be honest when you're having a weak moment?


Whether you made the decision already or if you're wanting to but haven't yet, verbally pray and ask God to create in you a clean heart. Ask that He renew your mind. Pray that He would put your desires at bay until the proper time arises. Eliminate all sources of temptation. Cut off the exes. The scripture that puts it into perspective for me is 1 Corinthians 6:18. "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body." (NIV, emphasis mine).


Got some spare time? I did a video on sex not too long ago. Check it out here. And if you're looking for accountability with purity or even taking the step, consider joining me and other women on the Purity Journey.