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Is my husband in the church?

I've heard a lot in my time of being a coach for women. Sometimes I cringe, other times I laugh. Sometimes I pray, then there are times that I cry. What I'll say is that women have a running list of many things as it pertains to their future husband. They know how he'll treat her, where they'll meet, what he'll look like, the size of his bank account, and more. They know all these things except when they'll meet and where he is now. Because if so, they wouldn't still be single. I see that there are still numerous women determined to put God in a box. And I say this because if you're praying certain prayers, yet determined that God will answer and come through based specifically on what you desire, then you absolutely are placing Him in a box that He was never meant to be in, and one that He doesn't even fit in. This blog could go on and on, but I'll stick to one thing I hear frequently from women: that they're going to meet their husband in church.

So, there's nothing wrong with having that desire or dream. My concern comes into play when I hear women who are adamant that it's either going to happen that way, or it's the way they want it to happen. The question is, do you want it that badly that you may neglect a great man for you if you encounter him elsewhere? And exactly what's so special about meeting him in a church, anyhow? Because here's what I know for a fact: every man that's in the church doesn't truly have the church in him. He attends, yes. But you'd never know by the life he lives outside of it Monday thru Saturday. As Christian women, it's nice that we desire a godly man. But I tell women to examine fruit production vs church attendance. Women have met their husbands in some great places. And church is down at the bottom of the list on all studies taken, funny enough. So why the hoopla surrounding meeting someone in the house of the Lord? Does it make the union more sacred and blessed? Does it represent some type of spiritual maturity? Are the only great men that exist in church every Sunday? I did a podcast on this last year. You can listen here. I'll say this. Be open to meeting your husband at any given place. There are some great men online, at the grocery store, and even at the bar. There are some nightmares in church every Sunday, at their mother's hospital bedside every night, or at their daughter's dance recital throughout the year. You really just don't know. The key is to test the fruit. Be mindful of the way they display love, patience, peace, and kindness. Look at their self-control and gentleness. Determine if he does in fact have a relationship with God. Does he at least know of God even if he doesn't know God? I've seen great transformation stories with men who were infants in Christ and I've heard awful ones regarding men who know the Bible like the back of their hand.


Sis, just keep an open mind. Don't place God in a box. The Bible is filled with stories of people that met their spouses in many different places. At the well getting water, while working in a field, after being paraded around following a beautification process, while taking a bath... The list goes on. Go to church to enjoy the presence of God. Go to church to fellowship with other believers. Go to church because you can and are able. Don't go because you're hopeful this will be the Sunday you meet your husband, or that the cute worship leader will approach you. (Yes, women do attend church for these reasons). Imagine staying active in church, learning nothing, only because you believe that's where he is only to learn that there's a great man sitting at home every Sunday that checks off all other boxes, wishing he had a woman to help him with his spiritual journey. Knowing how a lot of women operate, many frowned at that last sentence. They rolled their eyes because "that's what's wrong with people today; always wanting us to give chances, settle or date down." Meh. Or, perhaps we know that God does some of His best work with a person who simply trusts Him and His sovereign plan...